Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize