you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
