I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it glows. i had to have it.
She bit a glass in half.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
