Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize