i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
