You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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