I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
