bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
