I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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