those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
