Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's JV to your varsity
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize