By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
