Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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