if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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