I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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