just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
