i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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