i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
