What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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