yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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