He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize