ugly people sure do ruin things
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm like, not good at living.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
