she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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