I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
