It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
