Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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