i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
