I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize