i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
