we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
