you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize