He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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