But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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