More tranny stories later!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
