mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize