The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
