I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
