Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
