i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
