Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
