How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
