Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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