Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
