i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
