Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
