You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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