it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
