BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
