yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
