Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
