dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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