can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize