where am i from again
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize