Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize