Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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