isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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