A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
