I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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