I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
