Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
