Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
