some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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