Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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