I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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