if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
