I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
