roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize