Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize