Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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