is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You ruined the universe
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
