is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's always time for handjobs
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
