i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
