she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
