sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I party with great urgency now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
