I think I won the penis lottery.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
