I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize