why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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