He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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