My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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