I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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