And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i came on her dog
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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