He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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