i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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